This one really spoke to me. If you enjoyed Hillbilly Elegy, Educated, or Rising Out of Hatred, then you will devour this book.
Unfollow: A Journey from Hatred to Hope by Megan Phelps-Roper
My rating: 5 of 5 stars This memoir gave me the shivers and spoke to my heart and soul in ways that will forever cement it in a place of honor on my reading list. Megan Phelps-Roper grew up in the most notorious and hated religious sect in the nation - Westboro Baptist Church. Known for picketing soldiers' funerals and outrageous signs spouting homophobic and anti-Semitic slogans, church members also rejoiced at the AIDS epidemic, celebrity deaths, natural disasters, and all other manner of tragedy as proof that the rest of the country and world is doomed for a fate of Hell-fire and damnation simply for not being a Westboro believer. Megan left the church at the age of 27 in 2012, and was forced to sever ties with her family and the only life she ever knew. A seed of doubt grew slowly inside her until she couldn't rationalize the church's beliefs and intolerance any more. She grew to be incredibly brave, intelligent, and independent in thought. She's also remorseful for the ways in which her church's hatred has altered people's lives and hurt them in immeasurable ways. One of the most surprising things I learned about her grandfather and Westboro founder, Fred Phelps, was that before he started his crusade against gays, he was a highly respected and successful civil rights leader. In addition, the entire Phelps family is highly intelligent and many of them are lawyers. This part of the family history was fascinating to me. How can these intelligent people so blindly follow a religion so steeped in hatred? There's a certain type of child, very often female, who grows up to believe that she just has to be good and follow the rules. Even when logic defies this need, the desire to be good and tow the line trumps everything. When you combine that personality and the indoctrination of following orders and religious belief without question, you find a dangerous brew of power struggle and judgment. Megan does not look back with reciprocal hatred for the family and community that now shuns her. While her parents may not have been perfect, the family's love for one another was soft and authentic. She reveres those memories as they were comforting, special, and made her who she is. The other special part of this book is how the kindness of others is a part of what eventually lit the tiniest flames of doubt within Megan's mind. Megan was big into social media and arguing with non-Westboro people around the world. It was people who respectfully disagreed with her but still treated her with love online who made her question her church's vision. After leaving, she quickly discovers there are good people everywhere, and their religion doesn't define whether or not they deserve kindness and respect. People of all religions, or none at all, can and do have goodness and light. This theme reminded me of another big emotional book, Rising Out of Hatred by Saslow, where a white nationalist learns the error of his upbringing through the kindness of a Jewish college student and South American immigrant. The feel of Unfollow is also prevalent in Hillbilly Elegy and Educated. The quote Phelps-Roper used at the beginning is really the best way to end this review as it covers all of this book's vibe so perfectly. "Reserving judgment is a matter of infinite hope." F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby. View all my reviews
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I love sad memoirs. I could read them one after another. I'm not a sad person; I'm just drawn to stories of people who face hardship. I love to learn about the human experience and hopefully take little pieces of them with me so that when I also face struggles, I'm just a little bit better equipped to get through them. These stories layer themselves inside me, softening the way I understand the world, and while I can't claim to comprehend their experiences, I can at the very least use them to frame my attempts.
My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward by Mark Lukach
My rating: 4 of 5 stars Mark and Giulia had a fairytale romance and marriage. Seemingly out of the blue, Giulia suffers a psychotic break characterized by religions delusions and suicidal ideations that lands her in a psychiatric ward for nearly a month. Mark's account of Giulia's initial breakdown, diagnoses, and subsequent hospital stays is heartbreaking and honest. Mark talks about how it impacts Giulia's job, family, personality, and their marriage. Mark also talks candidly about his own selfishness and how Giulia's mental health impacts his ability to lead a normal life. Giulia's hospital stays affect his ability to work, his own mental health, and his ability to lead a productive, fulfilling life. Not only does Giulia suffer, but their marriage and love for each other is constantly put to the test. I found this book to be incredibly sad, but it also gave me perspectives on mental health that I didn't full understand before. I particularly liked when Mark was inspired to create a plan with Giulia when she was feeling well so that they each had limits and wants clearly outlined before the psychosis took away Giulia's ability to make those calls on her own. This book certainly gave me pause to think more about those suffering within the shell of psychosis and how terrifying and helpless everyone around them must feel. View all my reviews |
AuthorTravel All the Pages is inspired by my two loves - travel and reading, a combo I can't resist. Enjoy these little pairings. Archives
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